Feeling COMPLETELY hopeless - glad to have found this site!

In December of 2008, I was let go from my job in California, and could not find anything to keep me afloat - not even temp work. I had to fight for unemployment benefits, and in the interim, I was evicted from my apartment. Finally, in April of 2009, I began receiving my benefits, and with the lump of retroactive checks, I paid what bills I could, and decided to move to Florida, where my family lives; I thought I would have an easier time finding SOME kind of work...boy, was I wrong!

Fast-forward to present: because my unemployment benefits were completely exausted as of December 2010, and I have yet to find any kind of work, I am now living in a room in my elderly mother's house. She is 72, collects SSI, and works part-time in a deli - she and I have always had a very strained relationship, so this is really hard, living under her roof. I have no car, my student loans are in default and the interest is rising daily, my savings is completely gone, I currently have $12 in my checking account, no medical insurance, and a couple of crumbling teeth. I donated what furniture/household items that I had to the Salvation Army (because I couldn't afford to move them anyway), and the boxes of my belongings that I did manage to salvage are being stored in my mother's garage until I get back to work, in a place of my own, and can start living my life again. I am starting to lose hope of that ever happening again though.

On the upside: my dog is with me - he is happy, healthy, and well-fed, and I am able to collect food stamps - $200 a month, which helps.

I contemplate suicide often lately. I have no idea what next step to take. I ask God for help, I send resumes, make phone calls, etc, etc, and all to no avail. I'm very, very tired, and any sense of purpose, pride, hope, or energy has been completely crushed. I'm beat down, and want to give up.

Thanks for reading.

Girl16 welcome to the forum, Im sure you will find a lot of help and support here. A lot of us have similar stories. Please don't do anything to harm yourself, and if you should have those thoughts please contact the suicide prevention hotline. We have a link to it on top left of our forum.

The number is 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

Girl: You have found the RIGHT PLACE! We all GET IT completely! It's ok to be down --- just don't stay down. Some days are just rough to get through but none of us is giving up when the turning point is right around the corner!

Please know we are hear for you, to listen, to vent, to be angry with. We have felt it all and then some! Strength in # means there is always someone UP to give you a helping hand when you need it. You have paid your dues to this (I won't say 'great') RECESSION and in my heart I know God and the universe will reward our efforts, soon.

There is interesting article in Huff Post today "Sleepwalking through the UNemp Crisis..." by Mohamad El Erain (sp?) which is clear cut with the stats for different age groups and the whole % of unemp only improving due to individuals leaving the unemp benefit rolls. And the #'s for unemp in 19 to 25 is like 29%, etc. At the very least, it will verify for you that this is not PERSONAL.

Please post again and lean on us to allow you to stand tall --- you already do in the eyes of your DOG! They really are the best people I know! (We have 3; 11 yr Peke, 8 yr terrier/mix, 2 yr boxer/mix. Last two rescues --- they rescue us everyday! LOL)

Yeah, we have all been there and we all still go there on occasion. Everyday is different. If I didn't have good friends I am sure I would be as dead as Bin Laden by now. Just remember your dog needs you. You should post some pics if you have any.

Just to let you know, if you have government student loans you can get a deferment if you are unemployed. That is what I did and you don't have to make payments and they don't go into default. Call them as soon as you can.

Thanks everyone - I appreciate your responses. It's a nice change to not feel so alone in this.

Welcome to the forum and remember its not your fault and you have to keep going.

Can you go back to school even community college? It really helped me.

Thanks, gettheminNOVEMBER, for the idea - unfortunately, because of my defaulted student loans, I do not qualify for financial aid.

lendmeflight2: I am, though, going to call the student loan folks and talk to them about my situation. Currently, they have the creditors that they've sold the loan to calling my house every week...fun.

Here is a picture of my Murray - his love and presence saves my life everyday.

can you buy pet food with food stamps?

Yo girl16. Things will be turning around soon. Lay off the suicide thoughts for real. You dont wanna go through all this, learn all these lessons and then simply give up when things are getting ready to turn around.

Cablab, you cannot buy petfood with food stamps.

I would recommend scouring the web and learning how to make ur own petfood with cheap ingredients.

hello wrote:Yo girl16. Things will be turning around soon. Lay off the suicide thoughts for real. You dont wanna go through all this, learn all these lessons and then simply give up when things are getting ready to turn around.

Cablab, you cannot buy petfood with food stamps.

I would recommend scouring the web and learning how to make ur own petfood with cheap ingredients.

Well said, Hello! Suicide is never the answer and help is out there. We are all here to support each other through this nightmare, and I do believe things will turn around. Good things happen when you least expect it. We have seen many examples of that here on this forum.

As far as caring for your dog, there are resources out there that can provide assistance. Here is some info from our Resources forum:

Assistance for Pet Owners/Lovers ~ Taking care of our "Best Friends"



The Pet Network
Pet food banks, organizations that have supplies of cat and/or dog food available for pet owners who are going through difficult times.
Listings are organized by state, then city or town.

http://www.petwork.com/pet-health-care/pet-food-assistance

http://loveyourpetexpo.com/petfoodhelp.html

Website with nationwide links for low cost spay/neuter
http://www.lovethatcat.com/spayneuter.html

http://www.aspca.org/aspca-nyc/mobileclinic/

Pets of the Homeless Organization
http://www.petsofthehomeless.org/what-we-do


The Humane Society of America~Resources for Pet Owners
http://www.humanesociety.org/animals/resources/tips/trouble_affording_pet.html

Resource and help information, for everything from free cell phone service to prescription assistance, can be found here.

http://www.unemployed-friends2.org/f5-resources-government-assistance

Good luck with everything and please remember this is only a temporary situation. I know at times that is a tough thing to do, but that is why we are here - to support each other through this crisis we are all faced with right now.

Very cute dog girl16, I have a Boston Terrier named Josie who has been my savior through this.

SOOO good to hear from you. THIS is bigger than just you or I. We need each other to hold on. It will not last forever, just seems like that!!

LOVE your Murray pic!! He is a GREAT support, I'm sure!

We all have times when we feel we need to tie a knot in our lifeline to hang on. I often remind myself "It's not personal, but it sure feels like it!" I am much, much older and have never experienced such a loooong downfall in our economy/society but, as others have posted, the turnaround is coming soon. IF we could see it, have a timeline, I know it would be so much easier than this anxiety. But we will soldier on, in the trenches, and the best company here, until the NEW DAY arrives.

Any new openings in your area? Does Mom have any friends/associates families to contact for ideas? Let us help you brainstorm! WE are ALL stronger than any ONE of us... Peace.

Thanks again Everyone - I know that this situation is not personal, and that it's just a really tough time, and yes - it would be so much easier to handle if I could see SOME glimmer of light at the end of this very long tunnel...as of now, though, it's still pretty dark in here. I hope that you are all right, and that things will actually start to turn around soon.

Thank you also for the pet care info. Murray is indeed my lifeline - taking care of him provides me with purpose, and adds meaning and joy to my life. He is my everything, and I am so grateful that he is with me; he is my reason for getting out of bed on the days when I just don't ****ing want to.

Suri: I am always on the look out for new openings in my area, but I am in Florida - second highest unemployment rate in the country - so the competition is ROUGH here. My mom? That's a long story, but no - she is not really connected, and cannot/will not offer any support where my employment search is concerned.

I'm going to stay connected here, keep plugging in, and just do the best I can to stay present and positive...thanks again for the support!